the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
