sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
