lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just high enough for therapy.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
