hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
