I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
