Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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