Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
