Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
