I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Randomize
