Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
