Is it normal to miss your booty call?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
