help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
