I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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