awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
