And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
