More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
do nipples grow back?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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