went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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