so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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