everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
