I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
