so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
