U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
