But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
