I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
