people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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