According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
