I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
