so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
