Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
