if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
And then my night got REAL pukey
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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