ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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