Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
