You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Randomize
