question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
