Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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