But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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