yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
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