So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
