he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
