hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
