Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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