Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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