Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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