I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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