maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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