Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Holy shit dude........stairs
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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