You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
