Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
