I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
