Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
