ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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